“Form(s)” by Elijah Pouges

Form

trying to make the future take a solid shape

trying to free my mind a bit escape this corn-filled place

Indiana in the Nap, sleeping city I was raised

have to go and see the world open the blinds

take off the sheets

scribble on a sheet of paper just to get my thoughts off

spacey

almost die twice a day via cross walks

I don't work in offices or

do no fucking marketing

more depth than all the boxes they want me to mark off,

I know that they want my soul,

my ancestors bodies built the land in which I lay

now we Netflix and chill each and every single day,

Are these the fruits of labor?

Am i just an ingrate?

In a search for meaning meaning disintegrates

I can't sit around

time doesn't ever tend to wait

I first confront my fear

then I dive into my fate

At what point do I engage

when all I want is to escape?

 

Trying to give the future form,

I was told to go fill out another form,

this feeling takes me back to my first year inside the dorms,

feeling hella sad trying to escape the norms,

these people aren't my friends, they just want me to perform.

 

And they love it they

love it 

when you give them a show

with no place to call my home

from here where do we go?

 

Another day today in my oh so borrowed existence

make recitations and then I bow and pray for wisdom

sadness and irony score my undergrad condition

but I find myself pushin' for everybody that didn't

or couldn't

reminiscing

on love under red lights

in voids

via boxes

it feels like a rare sight

fixated on connection but unsure of the meaning

and I know that it sounds lofty

should be working

not dreaming

I held a couple jobs I'm never going back to

no more flipping burgers at the King for these frats

rather be doing physics while you watching the Tempest

then we go make love 

and I make it into rap noise

sometimes I'm stupid and I know that

fuckboyish tendencies 

I'm trying to control that

I love, I hurt

sometimes I should hold back

the end of this friendship is so wack.

 

Trying to give the future form

exploring many loves, they tend to lay outside the norm

I cared about you dearly

I don't do this cuz I'm bored

Please don't take me as sadistic

Your feelings are not a toy

I'm childish

just barely a man,

a little more than boy

 

And you're needing

you're needing

your space so you can grow

I hate to see you leave

I know you have to go.